Monday 14 November 2011

What to do when change drops a steaming turd on your head

Change, change, change. Everyone talks about it (especially politicians). Is it the amazing problem resolver? Can you leave everything you ever did before behind? Does it instantaneously cure all the worries and stresses of your past like an instant respawn on a first person shooter? Guigz doesn't think so. Heres what to do when you feel like giving your brand new "change" a solid stern whack with a large red paddle.
No tax breaks for you, peasants!

Well, as you may have guessed, this is in fact a change for me. Sort of like the point where i seamlessly disembark one train to smoothly transistion myself onto the next, with minimal disruptions watching everything connect perfectly into place.

Obviously, this isn't an accurate depiction of life. You can, of course, expect BOTH trains to be grotesquely overcrowded with people smelling like something from the back room of Dr.Doomstein's chemical warfare locker.
Like this, but you have to deal with people.
Despite all this, change is inevitable. It just happens. Therefore i have decided to help you to know what to do when the colloquial sh*t hits the fan:

*Never openly resent it. Why? Firstly because nobody cares, also people will assume you are in the "old fogey" model of person. This isn't a great way to win friends.... Keep shctum and get on with it.

*Never openly applaud it. Unless of course its the sort of change you actually want (which it isn't, or you wouldn't be reading this) applauding it drives it forward and gives it motion. Evidentally, this is bad.

*Stop, look, listen, live. No, this is not the green cross code. This is the change code. If you don't want to be flattened like a hedgehog in the road, you need to be able to adapt as quickly as you can whilst maintaining a steady level of observancy so that you don't rush out blind in front of a 10 wheeler truck of crap.

Nostalgia attack!

*Learn to live with it. It's not changing back. Like with facebook and all the groups made after EVERY slight alteration. NO amount of complaining is ever going to get your little text box at the bottom of your profile picture back (God how i miss it!)

*Try to manipulate it into your favour. Clearly this only works if it's something on a smaller or personal scale, but you'd be surprised at how persuadable people are if you stop and look at the scenario (read above) Speak to people individually, sway thier opinion, move onto the next. Pretty soon everyone is in your court in a manner which would never had worked had you blurted your ideas out loud for all to hear! Subtlety is key.

*Forget everything you knew about the old system. This makes things a lot easier when it comes to adapting.

Remember, change is part of us. Part of human evolution, it is an inevitable fact of life. Not something to be avoided, but to  be embraced. It's what makes us, us. Besides, who's gonna argue with a bloke with a beard THIS impressive?
Nobody, that's who.


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